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Peter van Veggel, Business Manager

Welcome to Part 2 of our Infidelity Series! If you missed Part I, here it is: “Part 1: Is it possible to build a relationship after a partner cheats?”.

Today’s post will address how to build romance, intimacy and sex. These steps will help lead those relationships affected by infidelity in a direction towards a new beginning, but both partners must have the desire to rebuild the relationship and work towards a new future together. It is also advised the the couple seek therapy to receive individualized guidance through these steps.

Rebuilding romance

It is helpful to remember what initially attracted you to you partner. Ask yourself the following:

• What drew me to my partner when we met?
• What was our first date like?
• What are my favourite physical features of my partner?
• What was my favourite sexual encounter with my partner?
• What strengths do I admire in my partner?

Discuss these answers with your partner and begin sharing in stories of attraction and your previous memorable sexual encounters. This will help to reignite the passion that initially brought you together.

Sex & Intimacy

The next step is to develop a new way of engaging in sexual intimacy. Many partners who cheat feel constricted in their current sexual relationship and feel the need to look outside of it to feed their inner desires. At this point, it is important for both parties to identify each other’s needs and work towards ways of fulfilling each other’s needs. This might mean recreating your sexual relationship and relating to each other in new ways. This will look unique with each couple, so really be honest with each other about what your desires are. Use this as a chance to continue to keep the passion alive!

Infidelity Contract

The final step is to discuss ways of preventing future infidelity. This will not only provide prevention, but also security for both parties. Together, come up with a pact. Consider the following:

• How to communicate with each other when interest is straying
• Types of situations, people and moods that might lead to cheating
• Commit to alerting your partner if you enter a high risk situation
• Commit to disclosing a sexual incident within 72 hours to avoid secrecy that stems into more hurt

This ends our Infidelity Blog series, but stay tuned as we share ideas about other interesting, relevant topics!


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